Crucibles of Leadership

Growing up, I never considered myself much of a leader. In fact, I would go as far to say I grew up an enthusiast of following. Typically, this meant that I didn't have to make decisions, nor often be held accountable for the consequences of them. I had long dreamed of working for some firebrand of a leader, perhaps still in a position of respect and prestige, but not authority. So, for most of my childhood and young adulthood, I lived keenly behind people I admired, ardently carrying out the tasks I had been delegated.

It wasn't until college that I experienced events that forever changed my views on leadership, and fortunately for my case, dispelled my aversion to leading―experiences deemed the "crucibles of leadership." These crucibles are unpredictable situations in life where we become cocooned in extreme hardship, uncertainty, and negative emotions. Yet, just as a caterpillar leaves its cocoon a butterfly, a follower may escape the crucibles a leader. It was only upon facing these demanding times during my early academic career that I was able to strengthen my backbone and begin my journey as a leader; yet I realized this part of my journey in retrospect, not in the moment itself.

Graduate students often find themselves in crucibles, or moments that test their mental and emotional limits. Yet, when they're in the heat of the moment, they may not appreciate the resilience it will build, or the point of reference it will give their future selves, looking back. These tough moments are nonetheless a part of our life narrative, and it's important for us to recall them, make sense of them, learn how they've shaped us, and especially learn how to avoid re-entering the same crucibles in the future. In recalling my crucible moments, I first try to understand the situation (while not placing blame anywhere). Then I try to remember as much detail of the moment as possible (what was said, what was felt). At the same time, I recognize what I valued most in the situation, and then finally I think about the nugget of advice the entire situation can be boiled down into.

For example, here's the advice I derived from my aforementioned crucible moment: Recognize when unsustainable collaboration patterns emerge and how to approach them well before the boiling point. Doing this exercise is typically pretty quick and has been really informative on what I value as a leader and as a human. Overall, I've found my leadership training at Northwestern not only a way to foster my professionality, but also as very therapeutic! I recommend these services to anyone who has the opportunity; and if you're a student at NU (undergrad OR grad), I highly advise this coaching!